Hm, about that obedience thing...

I haven't written a blog entry in a while. I'm sorry. I placed expectations on myself, and the pressure almost felt suffocating, to the point where I wanted to completely avoid writing and posting whatever my heart needed to express.

For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 NIV

I know God calls us to specific things He has planned for us individually, and He wants obedience, not sacrifice.

In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome... 1 John 5:3 NIV

But Samuel replied: "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. 1 Samuel 15:22 NIV

Sometimes I struggle with keeping God's call on my life separate from performance. Somehow I got it into my head, and it sank into my heart, that obedience = performance. My expectations for myself arise when I feel the pressure to perform.

When I write, verses that fit the situation pop into my head. Right now I can't remember any verses where God said to get my mess sorted out, then obey him. Pretty sure He didn't sign Moses up for Toast Masters before sending him to Egypt. God didn't tell the disciples to go into counseling after Jesus' death before they spread the good news. Really, the death and resurrection of Jesus was a pretty extreme, life-altering event. You'd think they would need to speak to a professional before sharing the love of God.

Someone drew a cartoon that I absolutely love. It's a simple drawing, where a stick figure is holding out his heart to Jesus, saying, “It's all I have.” Jesus is reaching down with outstretched hands to take it, responding, “It's all I want.”

How beautiful. How true.

From now on, I want to hear God's voice and obey, regardless of the outcome, what people might think of me, how I feel I've performed in the end. It's daunting, and I expect that my feet will falter, but I thank God that He will be there for every single step.

The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

Psalm 37: 23, 24 NIV

Messy Lesson

I learned a lesson today-the messy way. 

So what happened?  How was I, all of a sudden, in such a huge mess?  How does my whole day get ruined just because of one thing, like my pants were too tight that morning?  My husband has asked me how one little thing can just set me off and make me extremely sad/angry/upset. 

God showed me today that it's not necessarily just one single, simple thing.  I'm currently reading The Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer.  She said something in the first few chapters that has really made me think.  She said that Satan is patient. 

1 Peter 5:8
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil prowls around like a lion, seeking whom he may devour.

I always thought that Satan was impatient, since impatience is usually a bad thing.  When I was reminded we are in a war, I realized that the devil is very cunning and has well-laid plans.  He has been around since the beginning of time, and knows humans quite well. 

Ephesians 6:16
In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Notice that the shield is to extinguish arrows, not other larger, more obvious weapons like a sword, axe or mace.  You wouldn't notice an arrow nearly as much as a huge mace being swung around.  Arrows can be quick, decisive and deadly.  I'd like to make the point, though, that although an archer can have great skill, it could also be considered cowardly.  As believers, the Spirit in us is the same who raised Jesus from the dead.  No wonder Satan is afraid and resorts to sneak tactics!

The thing is, it's not usually one little thing that pushes me over the edge.  Bit by bit I have been allowing lies to build up into my life, things that slowly crumble my defenses.  Yes, sometimes we attacked by really obvious lies or temptations that come out of nowhere, and it's easy to defeat it.  It's those little lies that can actually be half true, and made to sound like one of our own thoughts, that settle into our hearts and eventually do major damage.

If I'm always reading gossip magazines filled with beautiful, air-brushed women, and watching trashy tv shows, then in my heart, I am allowing thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and other lies to slowly seep into my heart.  All it takes is one bad hair day, or a pimple, or ill-fitting clothes, and suddenly I feel destroyed.  If I'm always looking at social media and the news, I am, little by little, letting in fear that my daughter will be kidnapped or killed by a rare disease, or that my life will never be as exciting and fulfilling as my friends'.  All it takes is my daughter to get sick, or one more picture of my friend on yet another exotic vacation.  Everything seems like it suddenly gets blown out of proportion, but in reality, the pressure has been building slowly until something gives.

What kind of environment do you create for yourself?  Is it one where God's truth thrives? 

What lies do you believe and receive into your heart because they sound like your own thoughts? And honestly, even if they are your own thoughts and feelings, are they really the accurate truth?

Sure, the enemy is powerful.  But he is also already defeated.

1 John 4:4
 But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.

I am praying that I will be more aware of the thoughts I let swirl around inside me, and that God will show me the ones that are poisonous.  My pastor told me that it can be vital to master the "art of distraction."  Sometimes the best way to defeat a thought is to ignore it by distracting your brain by a completely different train of thought.  The other day I stopped what I was doing and sat down to do a sudoku puzzle.  I made myself focus on it to make myself stop thinking damaging thoughts.  It worked.  I just had to purposely change gears and not allow the lies to sink in to my heart.

Some days are more challenging than others.  If I'm tired, sick or stressed, then my defenses are weaker than usual.  If I've missed my time with God, or have been running my life on my own, it's easier to be taken down.  I don't expect that it will never be a fight.  But I would encourage you to examine your own thought life and what you let in, and ask God for His loving help.



Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

Remind Yourself

I can be extremely forgetful.  I sometimes walk into a room and forget why I was headed there.  There are days where if I'm distracted or interrupted mid-sentence, what I was saying will be completely gone.  I need plenty of reminders-notes, my calendar on the fridge, alarms on my phone, the people in my life, you name it.  I need multiple ways of reminding myself various things.

I am also a visual learner.  Sometimes I can see how I wrote something down in my mind, and what it looked like exactly.  I guess it makes sense that I have notes all over my home.  Yes, a lot of those notes are reminders for doctor's appointments or birthday parties, but I think the other ones are more important.  I bought some star-shaped paper from the dollar store and wrote down verses or phrases that inspire and encourage me.  Our lives can get so busy and distract us from the truths God wants us to remember. 

You are loved. 

God has a great and detailed plan for you. 

You matter.

Last weekend, I was blessed to be able to attend a local women's conference.  One of the activities we did was to sit quietly with our eyes closed and think about seeing Jesus.  What would He do?  Would He say something to you?  Every woman had a different experience, and in mine, I was reminded that He adores me.  Me!  Right now.  In all my mess and mistakes, He loves me.  At a later time in the conference, there was an opportunity to make necklaces and they would stamp words on a pendant if you wanted.  So I got the word "adored" stamped on mine.  Yes, it is a fashionable piece of jewelry, but I usually tuck it under my shirt.  It's a reminder for me, and sometimes when I am feeling low or that I just don't measure up, I cling to that necklace and remember that the Creator of the universe thinks I'm pretty special.  The woman stamping the jewelry shared that her necklace says "brave."  I think that's pretty cool.

In the busyness of our lives, it is so easy to miss the whispers of God's voice, or to not squeeze in that quiet time praying and reading the Bible.  I have found that if I put a verse on my bathroom mirror, I see it often enough that I memorize it without really trying.  And sometimes God will bring that verse to mind when I need His truth to speak into my life.

I would encourage you to find a moment or two and figure out what reminder would speak to you.  Put post-it's everywhere, wear a piece of jewelry that means something to you, make an inspirational picture your screensaver on your phone, do something that will remind you who you really are, and Who you belong to.

Speak with Love

How do you talk to yourself?  Do you speak gently and encouragingly, with kind words that bring hope?  Or do you tell yourself things that you would never think of saying to someone else?

I struggle with self talk.  I see my messy house, those pounds I should lose, how I couldn't think of the right words to say, and I make sure I don't forget any of those things.  So many times I break my own heart.  And that breaks my Creator's heart.

Proverbs 12:18
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

How would my outlook change if I gave myself more grace?  I think I would be more brave, willing to put myself out there and take risks.  I would most likely be more content with who I am if I told those negative voices to shut up.  My soul would be calmer, and in those quiet moments right before I fall to sleep, my mistakes  wouldn't be paraded around in my mind's eye.  I know the devil definitely has a place in trying to bring me down, but I should be fighting him, not helping him by accepting the lies.  Lies like, "I'm stuck here.  I can never change."  "I always mess up!  Will I ever get it right?"  "I'm so alone in this.  No one else knows what it's like."

 Proverbs 15:4
The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

Perverse can mean cross, ill-natured in spirit.  I can become cross with myself and my shortcomings, and my defeating thoughts crush me.  I love how the Bible is so truthful and timeless.  God gets it.  He knows what it's like to walk this earth and feel weary and heartbroken.

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

I'm not exactly sure how I will boast about my weaknesses, but I do know God wants me to allow Him to work through them so I can be refined.  I'm not supposed to wallow in them.

Thanks for letting me share my heart.  I feel challenged right now to really examine my thought life, and ask God to make me more aware of what I'm telling myself as soon as that negative thought hits my brain so I can squash it.  I hope you can weed out the lies you tell yourself, too.  When you pull out a lie, replace it with a truth that God gives you.  Claim His word as your own.

Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.

Obedient

Usually when a topic pops into my head, and I feel like I'm supposed to write about it, I look up some verses for direction and clarification.  I'm going to be honest here, and admit that I don't really want to bring this topic up because God has been speaking to me about this area in my life.  Some of the verses I found sting just a little, but that's one of the ways we can grow, right?  So here we go!

What comes to mind when you hear the word "obedient"?  I think of my toddler, and how I wish she would obey me immediately.  I think of myself, that sometimes God wants me to give up that thing, or go talk to that person, or start this new healthy thing.  I'm not sure what it is about my personality, or spirit, or flesh, but I do know that I do not obey like I should! 

Philippians 2:8
And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by
becoming obedient to death-- even death on a cross!

What?! Oh man!  This one hurts.  We're to imitate Jesus, right?  He trusted His Father to the point of death.  I'm not saying that God asks us to put ourselves to death...although He does, actually, now that I think about it.  We are to put our flesh to death by dying to ourselves daily, taking up our cross, and following Him.

For me right now, that might mean I need to wake up a little earlier for some quiet time with God.  I am a morning person, so I would most likely enjoy it, but currently I have been sleeping in as late as I can.  If you are a night owl, maybe consider doing it at the end of your day instead of scrolling through facebook or watching tv.  I would like to be more disciplined in giving Him some of my time when I'm at my best and can focus on Him.

My flesh also has a love/hate relationship with sweets and baked goods.  Or, as someone has wisely said, I love sweets but they don't love me back.  In general I think sugar is in way too many foods, and we get an unnecessary amount.  My body, in particular, cannot process sugar as easily as other people can because of a hormone imbalance that affects many aspects of my health.  I seriously need to reexamine the place food has in my life, and how I am giving my body the nourishment it needs.

Isaiah 1:19
If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good things of the land

This verse makes me laugh because I can take it two ways.  I believe it is supposed to be a promise-that God will give us the good things of the land if we are willing and obedient.  That is how I initially read it.  Then I read it again, but this time saw it as a command-you WILL eat the good things.  God wants me to be healthy, energetic and physically available to serve His kingdom.  If I held out a cookie and an apple and asked Him to choose my snack for me, it's pretty easy to imagine what the choice would be.  He wants me to take care of myself and choose the best option.

These two examples of obedience seem simple.  I know they could prove to be challenging but extremely rewarding once I obey and make such discipline a regular aspect of my life.  Are there areas in your life you need to reevaluate?  Where is God calling you to make changes and be obedient to Him?

Work in Progress

Wow!  It's been a while since I've written...

I love home renovation shows.  All the work that happens, the before and after, the big reveal to the homeowners-it's all great entertainment to me.  I would, however, scoff when one of the homeowners (usually the wife) would complain about how stressful and terrible it all was, that they were going to lose it if the renovations took any longer.  I thought, "Come on, lady, suck it up!  It can't be that bad!"

And then...we decided to change our kitchen.  We are actually still hanging cabinets as I type.  Well, actually, other people are doing the work, but I like to feel included :)  Anyway, renovations are terrible.  There.  I admit it.  Everything is disorganized and in chaos.  Getting ready for the day, packing lunches and making meals takes longer and I have to stop and remember where everything is.  I feel like I don't have any extra time to do anything, like write or paint my toenails or do regular housework.  Maybe that lady has a right to complain after all...

My point is-I need to stop making assumptions and judging people.  There's a pattern I've noticed in my life.  I don't take the time to try and see the other person's point of view, what their life might be like and how they feel.  Instead, I jump to conclusions, and unfortunately I usually don't give others the benefit of the doubt.

I am then humbled by God.  He reveals parts of the lives of "those people," and I feel so awful that I even thought that about them.  A friend who seems like she's always bragging may actually feel insecure.  Or maybe that person who was rude to you just had a fight with a loved one and is still upset.  Maybe she talks so tough because she has been hurt and let down so often she can't trust people anymore.

Thankfully, God gives me second chances.  Well, He gives me second chances hundreds of times, but I'm grateful for it.  Next time an "opportunity for growth" comes up, instead of thinking negative thoughts about someone and then telling another person all about it, I'm praying that I can pause, ask God for wisdom and understanding, then try to think the best and if possible, reach out and encourage that meanie ;)

Defiant

I don't know where I got this belief from, but I think I've always been under the impression that Godly women are meek and mild and let the world roll over them without protest.  I do agree women who have a close relationship with God and follow Him with all their heart have a peace about them.  They are not easily ruffled, but peace does not equal doormat.  I also know that women are to submit to their husbands in a relationship that honors God, and where the husband loves his wife as himself.

I still need to be more defiant.  I need to stand up for myself more.  I'm referring to not accepting defeat in the areas of my life where I struggle, and victory seems distant, and sometimes even impossible.

Again, I have been inspired by a song.  When I hear it, I think of Braveheart, or some other epic battle where the people are so passionate and filled with conviction that they give their all, no matter the outcome.  Although, unlike William Wallace (main protagonist in Braveheart), we are already  the conquerors, not the conquered.  Now I realize not everyone has seen Braveheart, and honestly I hadn't seen it until the last year, so I'm sorry if I ruined it for you :)  Anyway, here are the song lyrics.  When I mention a song, I strongly encourage you to look it up and listen to it.  There's just something about the combination of words and song that is so powerful.

Rend Collective
 The Art of Celebration
"More Than Conquerors"

When my hope and strength is gone
You're the one who calls me on
You are the life
You are the fight
That's in my soul

Oh, Your resurrection power
Burns like fire in my heart
When waters rise
I lift my eyes
Up to Your throne

We are more than conquerors, through Christ
You have overcome this world, this life
We will not bow to sin or to shame
We are defiant in Your name
You are the fire that cannot be tamed
You are the power in our veins
Our Lord, our God, our Conqueror

I will sing into the night
Christ is risen and on high
Greater is He
Living in me
Than in the world

No surrender, no retreat
We are free and we're redeemed
We will declare
Over despair
You are the hope

We are more than conquerors, through Christ
You have overcome this world, this life
We will not bow to sin or to shame
We are defiant in Your name
You are the fire that cannot be tamed
You are the power in our veins
Our Lord, our God, our Conqueror

Nothing is impossible
Every chain is breakable
With You, we are victorious
You are stronger than our hearts
You are greater than the dark
With You, we are victorious
[x3]

We are more than conquerors, through Christ
You have overcome this world, this life
We will not bow to sin or to shame
We are defiant in Your name
You are the fire that cannot be tamed
You are the power in our veins
Our Lord, our God

We are more than conquerors, through Christ
You have overcome this world, this life
We will not bow to sin or to shame
We are defiant in Your name
You are the fire that cannot be tamed
You are the power in our veins
Our Lord, our God, our Conqueror



I want to refuse to bow to sin or to shame.  How cool would that be?!  This is where the defiance comes in.  I think I usually take on the mindset of the defeated, when Jesus has already claimed the victory for me.  All I need to do is walk in it, and refuse to accept labels placed on me by myself, the world, or others.  Labels like unlovable, broken, overwhelmed, unworthy, unnoticed.  Sadly, those are only a few of the many examples I could give.

And yet...

Jesus has redeemed me.  That's not who I am.  That's not who you are, either.  We are His beloved, and we are more than conquerors.

Romans 8:37 NIV
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

Notice how the verse begins with "no?"  When I go over this verse in my mind, I shout the "No!"  Try it.  Be defiant in His name.  Go out there and claim your victory in His name.

I have a song running through my head.  It's quirky and whimsical. It makes me want to explore who I am and what I want out of my life.  It's by Lenka and it's called "Everything at Once" on her album titled Two.

As sly as a fox, as strong as an ox
As fast as a hare, as brave as a bear
As free as a bird, as neat as a word
As quiet as a mouse, as big as a house

All I wanna be
All I wanna be, oh
All I wanna be is everything

As mean as a wolf, as sharp as a tooth
As deep as a bite, as dark as the night
As sweet as a song, as right as a wrong
As long as a road, as ugly as a toad

As pretty as a picture hanging from a fixture
Strong like a family, strong as I wanna be
Bright as day, as light as play
As hard as nails, as grand as a whale

All I wanna be, oh
All I wanna be, oh
All I wanna be is everything
Everything at once
Everything at once, oh oh oh
Everything at once

As warm as the sun, as silly as fun
As cool as a tree, as scary as the sea
As hot as fire, cold as ice
Sweet as sugar and everything nice

As old as time, as straight as a line
As royal as a queen, as buzzed as a bee
As stealth as a tiger, smooth as a glider
Pure as a melody, pure as I wanna be

All I wanna be, oh
All I wanna be, oh
All I wanna be is everything
Everything at once

What are you passionate about?  What makes your heart sing?  I think God has placed something in our souls that requires joy and fun.  I think it's also extremely important that we invest in ourselves and spend time doing those activities that breathe life into us.  We are meant to dream and have goals and enjoy our lives.

I think of the women in my life, and they are all so different.  One paints, another trains for triathlons, while others garden, bake, sew, read, volunteer, sing, write encouraging letters, ride bike, compete in sports, and on and on.

There is a balance, of course.  I devour books, and the characters become real people to me.  It is a relaxing activity that helps me unwind, but I can use it as a tool to avoid life sometimes, get so involved in a story that my housework doesn't get done.  

I also enjoy doing my nails with some stickers that have recently become popular.  It makes me feel pampered and feminine to have pretty fingernails, and it also reminds me how nice it feels to take time to take care of myself.

What can become a problem is when I compare my passion and activities to others.  I will not be able to paint like my friend, and my other friend has an amazing singing voice, and I want to have a beautiful garden and eat all its fresh produce like another friend and...

 

What I have and enjoy seems not so exciting or wonderful now.  And that's a lie.

 

I would encourage you to look at yourself.  What brings you peace?  Where do your natural talents lie?  Maybe the gift is there, but you need to pull out your sewing machine and dust it off, get back in practice.  It may be something simple, or only take 15 minutes, but go ahead and make the time to do it.  You'll be glad you did :)

 

 

Psalm 34:18 NIV
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

When I was looking up this verse, I was only remembering the first half.  When I found it and read it all the way through, I realized this verse is a truth I need to cling to because it's how I feel.  My heart hurts, and indeed, my spirit seems like it has been crushed.  I told myself that I would try to be as transparent as possible on this blog because I think it is vital to having healthy relationships, to stop the cycle of fluffy small talk in order to actually connect with other people traveling on their own journeys.

Today, however, I hope it is enough to simply admit that my heart is heavy.  I think I know some of the reasons, some of the issues that have bogged me down to the point of discouragement, but I'm just not ready to list them all yet.  I need to spend some time in my Creator's presence and lay it all down at His feet.  Thank God He fulfills His promises!  I know He will save me.  I hope and pray that you stand on His promises, too, waiting confidently and expectantly for Him.

I can't even think of a title!! ;)

I'm trying to think of something deep and inspiring to write, and I have nothing.  Sometimes ideas flow so quickly from my mind that my hands can't record all of them in time.  Life right now is...ok, I guess.  No major crises or struggles.  Just the usual stuff.  And yet, I know God has called me to write, and I firmly believe a lot of it has to do with my own edification.  If God uses it to bless others and speak into their lives, I am humbled and excited to see Him work.  So I've decided to remain faithful and keep going.  Thanks for bearing with me...

It's bright and sunny right now, my flowers are blooming in their pots outside my house, and I've had a lot of coffee and chocolate today.  It's a nice, good day.  See?  Even my adjectives are uninspiring :)

What do we do when life is easy and we're coasting?  I find that I'm less likely to be seeking God's face and asking for His peace.  It's more challenging for me to be faithful in my time and conversations with God when I can rely on my own strength and get things done.  But as I'm typing this, I wonder what it would look like when those storms come and I've been preparing for them because my foundation in Him is already built and steadfast.  So many times I've been blindsided by a terrible thing, to find myself suddenly sprinting towards God, shouting His name and begging for help.

God is so faithful, and He always shows up, even though His arrival might not be exactly as I expected or, in some cases, demanded.  I am curious, though, for those of you who read this-how do you stay close to God in the easy times?  I think for me it means that I just need to continue trying to mirror His faithfulness, in the big things as well as the small.  I will never be as faithful and steadfast as Him, but He is also full of mercy and grace, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Stand Still

Bethel Music just put out a CD called You Make Me Brave, and in the song "It Is Well", they sing,

"So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name" 

Music is very powerful to me, and embarrassingly enough, some songs make me want to weep when I sing them.  This is one of those songs.  I so easily forget God's power.  There have been a few times when I have shared what I'm dealing with in my life, and when my friends pray for me, they see me in a rowboat, with high waves all around me.  I'm holding onto the oars with white knuckles, straining and striving, but going nowhere.

I need to let go.  I belong to the Creator, and the waves and wind still know His name.

There are so many things in my life that I desperately try to control and fix and plan out to the tiniest little detail.  It's exhausting, discouraging and so stressful, ultimately making me feel defeated.  But I have the greatest hope.

1 Peter 5:7

Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you.

We're not made to carry so many burdens.  I look back at all the times I made myself sick with worry and stress, and that whole time I know God just wanted me to run to Him.

2 Chronicles 20:17 NLT

But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the LORD's victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the LORD is with you!

 ...stand still and watch the Lord's victory...

You're Invited!!!

It's a Pity Party!

Hostess:  Me

Time:  Right now

Please bring chocolate and assorted junk food, but not your own problems, please.  I'd prefer to focus on mine.

Usually I don't invite people when I'm busy wallowing in my own circumstances, but I've been challenged to invite people in by reaching out.  Actually, I've also been challenged to avoid pity parties altogether since they aren't very productive.  So I guess in the end I've just been challenged to invite people into my life by reaching out.  Reaching out, however, can be extremely daunting, especially if it means there is a risk making yourself vulnerable and being rejected or ridiculed.

Today's society makes me so angry.  As women, we are made to believe we need to have clean houses, organic food, skinny bodies, happy perfect children, fulfilled husbands and stylish/sexy/flattering clothes ALL THE TIME.  We are told how to exercise, cook, dress, organize, live, everything!  But life is busy, and sometimes complicated and messy.  Sometimes I would look around and see other women who seem to get it, and I would look at myself and see how I fall short in every area, and think damaging, discouraging thoughts about myself.  Admitting weakness or even just how lonely I felt to other women was not an appealing option.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NLT
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.  But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.  Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm.  But how can one be warm alone?  A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.  Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

God is so kind and He has lovingly placed me with groups of women who are truly incredible.  They have shared very personal parts of their lives, and in doing so, have encouraged me to make myself vulnerable and transparent.  The funny thing is, though, when I first met these ladies, I thought they were perfect and had it all together.  Then they would reveal struggles and insecurities that made me want to gasp in shock.  You mean I'm not the only one?!

Then the most amazing thing happened-I realized that after seeing what we think are the "ugly" parts of us, these women are even more beautiful than I originally perceived.  I see the depth and strength of their spirit, how far they have come despite everything, and that God is continuing to mold them for His wonderful purpose.  They have listened to my heart, encouraged me and prayed for me.

There have been times when I felt so alone and thought no one would understand what I was going through.  That thinking is so flawed.  I would encourage you to reach out to other women.  You might be surprised to find out that others think you're perfect, too, and that you have it all together.  Women are very skilled at putting up good appearances.

God has given us all gifts that can minister to others.  You might be a good listener, encourager, prayer warrior, gift giver, organizer or something else completely!  There are so many things we all have to offer for the glory of God!  Please ask God to show you who you can encourage today, and I'll be on the lookout for someone, too.  Chances are my pity party will be cancelled :)

Confessions of a Doubter

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand."
Psalm 37:23-24 NLT

I have a confession to make.  Sometimes-ok, maybe a lot of the time-I read the Bible and think it doesn't apply to me.  So, yeah, that means there are days when I think I am perfect and never, ever sin (you can't see me, but I'm rolling my eyes at myself), but what I'm actually referring to are God's many loving promises that He makes.  To me.  To you.  And they're pretty incredible!

I tried to memorize the above verses a few years ago, and in the hustle and bustle of my daily routine, they slipped away.  Then for whatever reason, I was reminded of them, so I looked them up.  And it finally sank in that God is talking to me and you.  Not some people in the past, or people who only live perfect lives.  Perfect people don't exist, by the way.  Just so you know.

Now, you may not know me, but you should know that I am often a combination of powerful emotions-fear, anger, confusion, jealousy, insecurity, doubt, and so on.  I am also redeemed by God.  He has a marvelous, fantastic, wonderful beyond my imagination plan for my life.  He has one for you, too.  It will probably look quite different from mine, though.  You have different gifts, talents, thoughts and experiences.  I have experienced great loss through miscarriage, the death of greatly loved family and friends, as well as the challenge of a hormone imbalance that affects several aspects of my health, including my weight-more on that later :)  I also know that He has given me gifts, talents and too many blessing to count.  He has placed on my heart a love for His women, and I think a lot of us (definitely including myself here) don't let ourselves believe we are so valued and loved by our Creator that it is incomprehensible.

The point I'm trying to make here is God loves who we are and who He created us to be.  He truly delights in our uplifting conversations, kindness to friends and strangers, even the little quirks that are unique to our personality.  I encourage you to look up some of His promises, and think about how your life would be impacted if you would live as if you believe His promises are directly for you.  Make them your own, and see if that changes how you see yourself and your circumstances.  I'll do it, too.